Let's have fun!

Wow. Yesterday’s blog was a real upper, huh?

If there is one thing I hate—and oh, how I wish there was only one (or 100, for that matter)—it is people who are unable to say “I’m sorry.” I plan to dedicate a special blog to them in the near future but, for today, suffice it to say that I cannot apologize to you nearly enough for allowing my marshmallow center to immobilize my armor.

More than once since posting what I have dubbed "The Big Boo-Hoo,” I was tempted to remove it. But I kept hearing the voice of my therapist--known by my family and friends as Annie Sullivan--urging me to embrace my pain. So embrace it I did. I left the blog as is and will use that triumph as currency when I try to barter a free session from her on Wednesday.

But today, on the eve of reuniting with The Bitch and my brother-in-title-only, I have bigger challenges to face. The marketing manager at the “retirement village” strongly suggests that we sample an activity or two. Left to my mother’s devices, we’d be first in line for “Margarita Mondays!” But I’m going to push for “Who Am I?” Half the people living in that place probably have no fucking clue. How cool would it be to see what they come up with?

Initially, I was tempted to sit in on a session of “Baking Memories!” but I realized that it requires too much forethought. I would need to figure out precisely what year I brought that disaster of a pumpkin pie to my aunt’s Thanksgiving dinner. Or I’d have to try to remember who saved my sorry ass by lending me a cup of confectioner’s sugar during the middle of the night when the cream cheese frosting on my carrot cake got so damn runny.

I’m starting to feel a little desperate. Maybe the Monday at 2 p.m. slot is just a loser. Sure, I could suggest “Story Hour!” but how, exactly, would I word that? “Okay, Mommie Dearest, it’s time to be infantilized?”

There are two stellar possibilities. I know she could come up with a bitter memory for “Let’s Reminisce!” Or, if I could stand seeing her “life of the party act” one more time, she would likely love “Let’s Sing Out Loud!” Sing out loud? Jesus. As opposed to…what? Sing to ourselves?

[Note to whoever names these courses: Overusing exclamation marks is a sign of laziness--not unlike my overuse of long dashes. They reek of desperation, too, so let them go. Please?]

Okay. Here’s the bottom line on tomorrow. I don’t know which activity we’ll end up trying, but I can promise it won’t be at “Mind Games!” Just being there will be mind game enough for me.